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New to the Singles Scene? This page gives you our quick run-down of your options and in our view, the advantages and disadvantages of each. And is our view well informed? We think it is, as before founding this company we personally experienced most of these options first-hand.
In this review we look at: -
The Singles Scene - A turbulent mix
In a few words: Too many unsuitable people too quickly will get you in a frenzy that produces no results. Not as cheap as it appears due to the cost of all the meetings.
Place an advert in one of the national newspapers and you will receive a full mailbox of replies if your advert is halfway reasonable. When you have discarded the 1/3rd you don't like and the 1/3rd that live so far away it would be impractical, you may be left with up to thirty interesting contacts. Sounds a good deal? Well so far yes, but this is when the problem starts. You commence a series of phone calls to your respondants, to try and narrow down the list, but the thing is, they are mostly doing the same thing - each has responded to many singles ads. The result is a difficult task of arranging dates with people who are all trying to juggle others too. Its also quite tricky trying to remember all about so many people simultaneously. You finally get some dates arranged, but you'll find half of them get cancelled at the last moment (or worse still - you are stood up) because the other party had decided they like someone else on their list, or they have become bored with the whole process. So you finally start to meet the remainder. Drinks, meals and travel to/from your dates is both time-consuming and expensive. You often find that you have nothing in common with your date - basically because you knew nothing about them. You also quickly realise that you are in competition with the rest of their list too. The whole problem is that this method thrusts upon you in a short time a large number of people that may be totally unsuitable, as all they had to go on was 3 lines and a box number.
At the end of the whole process many people feel that they have invested a lot of time and money to get nowhere. Often people only meet a fraction of their supposedly suitable replies before giving up.
In a few words: Great for dinner, can give you a kind of social life,but not a fast-track to a permanent relationship.
Choose one of the top Dining Clubs and you can have a lot of fun, at least at first, as you dine with a group of single people at top restaurants, hotels and other venues. They introduce you to other members and you sit next to people of the opposite sex without pressure or commitment. That's great so far. So what's wrong? Unfortunately we can say from our direct experience that dining clubs attract a selection of permanently single or unattached people who avoid commitment like the plague. So you'll certainly get a nice dinner, a date maybe, but a relationship is a much harder and less likely, because for so many people its not what they are really there for. Sometimes the regulars use such clubs as their social life and as a substitute for a relationship. Also, the format tends to attract an increasingly older clientele, so it can prove disappointing for younger singles.
In a few words: Good to fill your weekends and spare evenings, but a slow and uncertain road to a relationship.
Rambling, theatre or karting-days out. This is the stuff of such clubs and their events can be fun if they are well marketed and operated. However, they do not focus on bringing people together, and some events do attract people of who, shall we say, have better karting skills than social skills! It is often a long process to develop a relationship through such a club, but if you are not impatient then it can happen.
In a few words: If you have a good crowd they can be great, but you are stuck for a week if you don't. Also beware habitual holiday-romantics.
Several companies operate singles holidays, with varying amount of influence on the single aspect. They can be very good and immensely enjoyable. If its an activity holiday, such as sailing or skiing, then the group can be bonded by their focus on the activity involved. The advantage of a holiday is that over a week or more you have time to begin a relationship with someone over a number of days doing enjoyable things. If it works for you its great. But, just two things that are wrong. Firstly, if no one appeals to you (or vice versa), then you are stuck with it for the duration of the trip. Secondly, there is the holiday-romance factor. Many romances spring up on such trips that just don't cut it back in the real world. Sad, but true.
In a few words: A wild ride where you may meet Miss Right or Prince Charming, or maybe a married person with 3 children they've omitted to mention. You just won't know.
The Internet is everywhere - its cheap, free in many cases, and increasingly enters every sphere of our lives. So why not pay a few pounds and sign-on to chat and date with your new virtual buddies? Our advice is by all means do - its amusing, and different to anything you will have experienced. But beware - The Internet offers you total anonymity - you can be just who and what you want to be - and many people use this to disguise some less attractive aspects of their lives. In our review of such services users often report incidences of: -
- Married posing as single
- Extreme sexual preferences
- Professional "one-night-standers"
- Many people acting out a completely delusional existence online, which could not be farther from their reality.
So, its a wild ride and if you take it be aware of what you are getting into. Another problem is that many people do it "just for a laugh" or in an insincere or cynical way, so there are very mixed motives involved.
In a few words: A great way to make someone else rich, no way to find a relationship.
Cafes, bars and so on - all just an illusion. They are all just a computer that forwards messages to callers paying premium rates, designed to make your conversation as slow as possible to maximise the operator's revenue. Many employ women to boost the female contingent, and these women are instructed to be sexually provocative and keep the customers (mainly male) on the line. If you want a sexual fantasy they may do the trick - although the fact that the woman supposedly telling you her sexual secrets is probably nothing like her description and is actually watching TV in between messages to you and 10 others - may just cool you down!
In a few words: If you are fortunate enough to have a great social life full of single attractive people of the opposite sex then you will probably never be reading this page anyway. If you are are over 30 and do not, the DIY route can be a problem.
Bars, clubs cafes - all great places to socialise. But to meet a stranger? As woman, if you take a like minded female friend out to certain venues, propositions will come your way. From all ages, types and backgrounds. If you are a veteran clubber, you'll probably like this, if not, well it is daunting - the "meat market syndrome".
As a man you have to have the confidence to ask total strangers to dance, talk or drink. Expect rejection - it will happen a lot!
The problem is that at 19 most people are single and available, at 29 many are not, at 39 very few are. The older you get, the harder it becomes.
In a few words: Good because they are focused on helping you to meet someone, but you must understand what style your agency has and what market they target, and how they operate.
There are quite a few agencies around now, but in our view, whatever their size and style of operation they have an advantage - they are focused. Everybody meeting through an agency knows why they are doing this - they want to meet a partner. Not all dates can possibly work out, but there is always the knowledge that you are at least meeting someone who says they want to find a partner, and are serious about it, having paid money to do so. Any reputable agency will also ask quite a lot of questions about their members, so you are less likely to meet a charlatan.
Agencies come in two basic formats. 1 - Free browsing by client of profiles of opposite sex. 2 - Matching by the agency. We will discuss the merits of these under the page on How Affinity Fits in.
Markets range from small local inexpensive agencies who would take almost anyone, through mainstream professional agencies, through to exclusive agencies for the rich and famous. Fees range from £200 to £10,000 p.a.
Now click to find out how Affinity's Service compares.